Long Distance Relationships and How to Make It Work

snailmailMost often than not, people hesitate when relationship involves distance. It is difficult enough to understand each other when you are not apart, what more can happen if one is based overseas?

There are a lot of self-help books available and instructional videos online to help you cope with a long distance relationship. However, no matter how hard you think about it, the possibility of it’s’ success seem to be nil. You are here and you talk to your partner once in a while, you use Yahoo Messenger and Skype and send each other text messages. How long do you think can you keep up with it? Expenses concerning communications will surely soar high and probably leave you both bankrupt.
The success of a long distance relationship actually lies on both your commitment. The mind wanders too much if left unattended. Constant communication is the key and the secret to that is you actually should do it both. It should be a two way street to make this work. Insecurity will play a big factor on long distance relationships. You and your partner must by all means assure each other of your total commitment. You do not need to send expensive gifts but something simple yet meaningful will do.

There is no specific bible to follow and ensure that your relationship will be a success. It is up to you both to make it worth but yes, it doesn’t hurt to try some tried and tested tips.

First, establish the kind of relationship that you have. Are you just seeing each other, are you exclusively dating each other, or is this just like a mutual understanding without the so called commitment? This is very important to ensure that you are both on the same page and that you both understand the level of commitment needed to maintain your long distance relationship.

Next thing to do is to agree on something concrete like when do you actually plan to talk to each other? Will it be via Skype, via Yahoo Messenger or by a video call? The importance of this is so that you can set realistic expectations. You don’t want to be out doing grocery while your partner is waiting on the other end of the line. When things are not planned, it may just cause frustration, pressure and then annoyance.

Third is to jot down all holidays, important days to remember and important activities that you should be mindful of. It pays to be thoughtful but let us not count on our brains to just memorize those. It is better to list it on a calendar, or put it on your diary so that you get reminded accordingly. I remember I was seeing someone before who was based far far away from me. I would understand him forgetting minor events but most certainly not my birthday. Whatever reason he gave me was not worth to keep it any longer. Well, those were the days and I just laugh when I remember what happened that time.

Fourth tip is to be spontaneous. I know, I said to jot down dates, set a goal or talk about planning, but then again being spontaneous helps to show how much you love that person by suddenly surprising your partner. I know of a friend who was talking with her partner on Yahoo Messenger, expecting that it was the only way that they can celebrate their anniversary. She was so surprised when a friend of his came and brought her flowers that her partner had asked his friend to buy in his behalf. Her expression and surprise were all captured and witnessed by her partner as he was online at the same time. How sweet!

Lastly, ensure that you will have a reasonable means to communicate. Think about you two getting the same kind of blackberry or iPhone. This lessens the cost of communication drastically. If the two of you both use blackberry, then you can talk via BBM and if you are one of the iPhone addicts, you two can invest on the gadget and talk via IM. You can then start sharing simple thoughts on a day to day basis; the longing won’t be too much with constant communication.

So start thinking about the pros and cons of maintaining a long distance relationship and see if you are up to the challenge.